The Reasonable Man

I had finally become a reasonable man. My journey of becoming a good man was accompanied by events that could annihilate me, but I turned my failure into motivation.

In September 1985, I put the final nail in the coffin when I invited "The White Lady" (Ms. Free Base-Crack Cocaine).
I was willing to do anything for that monstrous first high.

I was on my worst behavior, which was the lowest part of life when I was residing in Gaithersburg, Maryland. I was not performing frequently. I was doing forbidden things, and I didn't even realize that my career was on stake. I used to travel state-to-state for the smuggling of cocaine.

My life flipped when one night, I was picking up and dropping off a package of cocaine, and the involved person got killed. Even though I had nothing to do with his death but the police found my number in his pocket. So after 19 days, I was charged with an atrocious crime of murder. However, I had pleaded to the allegations of theft and robbery. I was sentenced for four years, suspended for 18 months, and was bound to spend three years of supervised probation in a local pre-release center (PRC). When I arrived there, my supervisor tested me by sending me to put gas in his car. I'm glad that I made the right decision and didn't deceive him.
I come from humble beginnings, and I thank my mother and grandparents for teaching me things like cooking and barbering. These skills proved beneficial for me in that period. After returning, I was allowed to continue barbering, and I was made to cook for at least 60 days. My fellows and supervisors loved my cooking. Everybody at the release center treated me with love and compassion. Their loving gestures instilled hope in myself, and I had quenched the belief in myself, which had run dry. I knew I needed to become a better man now. I was allowed to go home after 60 days. However, I had to provide the contact number and address where I was spending my weekend.
My wife has been my faithful companion in both good and bad times. She has stuck with me through thick and thin. I've been married to her for more than 28 years, and we know each other for more than 40 years. I was her first boyfriend. I'm proud of her and our children, and most importantly, I'm more than grateful for a beautiful family that has my back. I stayed with them on the weekends as my mother was too afraid to let me stay at her place as the mob might be looking for me there.
Because of my good behavior, I was allowed to work in the daytime too. I knew the owner of Eyre Bus service, so I started riding his school from Monday to Friday. Working on weekdays and spending quality time with my family on weekends made me feel content and happy. It's been 35 years, and I'm still a part-time bus driver. I'm delighted to have a peaceful life where I have a beautiful family and flexible work.
I joined the Mount Gregory United Methodist Church in Cooksville, Maryland, and stated the youth choir there while I was in PRC. This church was special to me as it was my family church.
My life choices may not appear ideal for a lot of people, but I have no regrets. If I didn't make those choices, I would not be here living my best life. In 1985, I could have chosen to let myself stay devastated, but I decided to walk on God's path. He blessed my life when I found him, and he proved to be my faithful companion.

Food is a powerful cultural signifier 3

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3. Narratives of ethnic foods and national cuisines
Validating that the cultural role of Food A signifier of country, commentators have argued that now nations areas National flag.
Concurrently, studies carried out by Arjun Appadurai, Carol Helstosky, and Sally Howell have also illustrated how cuisines, particularly National cuisines, are discursively produced by national elites as tools of nation-building In turn. As I have addressed previously, ethnic foods and ethnicity just come To being when put against the grain of the non-ethnic other.

Thus, we need to Explore how Australian and Italian national cuisines have been imagined and how They articulate with the kitchen and foods of the ethnic others with whom they share the same national territory. Italian cuisine and foodways are represented as strong signifiers of national culture and national identities. According to the Italian gatekeepers, The kitchen is integral to the narrative of Italian-ness. Yet, Italy did not become a Unified nation-state until the final quarter of the nineteenth century. Finding Identity markers for nation-building proved a tricky task to accomplish In a geographical territory divided by powerful regional and local identities. According To Thelytoky, the job of Pellegrino Artois was critical in his and Meticulously researched and categorized recipes and foods, producing what was Recognized as the 'language' for a national cuisine that merged Italians around the table.
In a state where powerful regional and local allegiances to products and providing the recently formed nation-state using a signifier of national culture. In Italy, as in post-independence India, cookbooks and the language of cuisine were essential tools of nation-building, albeit not the only one. In this Procedure, the participation of Italian diaspora in promoting Italian foodways Cannot go Especially to the USA, led to a staggering total of nine million Italians - One-quarter of the whole Italian population - living outside Italy from the 1920s.

Again, during the years of Mussolini and after WWII, the exodus increased in the diaspora. Commensality was critical in establishing cultural and social bonds amongst Italian Immigrants at the same time as it encouraged and disseminated the Italian-ethnic Food. It became more of a unifier in the diaspora than it was in Italy. Thought of Italian Food was generated in the interior (Italy) as from the
Outside (diaspora). Sometime over the boundaries of this nation-state, local and Regional differences have been upheld as strong identification markers of Locality and regionalism. They became of secondary significance in the diaspora where The motto that migrants needed to thrive in a foreign land was the priority. Abroad, Differences were set aside to make strong links between diasporic Italians. t, Italian foodways connoted Italian-ness and maintained cultural identities. Ethnic- Italian Food was enabled and became enabling.
The impetus to consume the meals which mamma cooked had a dual impact. On the other hand, its unified immigrant communities around the table promising national Helped entrepreneurial immigrants to Create successful businesses and to an increase was given by the diasporic markets Into a weak Italian market by developing new industries like Italian pasta. The role of food as a powerful signifier of national identity might Begin to Clarify the town of Lucca's dismissal of the foodways of the ethnic-other. In Australia, cultural food has different connotations, but inside Lucca's territorial boundaries, ethnic food destabilized the city's sense of Self and jeopardized Italian-ness. Australia has its particularities.

But a stamped the past as a British colony of Australia Coverage of cultural sameness and white supremacy. Early Food was English Food, with Sunday roast and three veggies. Australian Aboriginal native Foods, eating habits, and cooking methods are yet to be incorporated in everyday food. Likewise, the foodways brought by immigrants during The gold-rush of the nineteenth century just became gradually integrated after a Process of 'domestication' and regulation based on the standards and codes Dependent on the hegemonic establishment. The 1950s' Waves of government-sponsored southern European immigrants coming to Australian beaches, found their foodways belittled and often referred to as WOG meals.
But, their presence and visibility contributed to slow changes in Cultural attitudes to ethnic foods, which were being partly introduced by The increasingly powerful advertising industry, actively sponsoring new ingestion Signifiers against which identification procedures were generated. Concurrently, the increasing number of Australians traveling abroad in the 1970s stimulated Growing tolerance and fascination for the culture and eating habits of cultural others. From the 1980s, WOG food became trendy. Greek, stylized, Italian, Asian, and Lebanese foods became acceptable and even desirable. A direct result of changes in Australian society conducive to new the societal Had changed. So had its constitutive intelligentsia accountable for challenging.
The conditions in which national identities were being devised. The new aspirational Middle-class was partially, but importantly, constituted by second-generation Australian-born and increased people, with strong links to the ethnic cultures of They, were outsiders. They were incorporated and educated citizens, empowered by cultural capital. This new creation could practice cultural politics and title cultural signifiers That re-shaped Australian national identities and culture. Culturally sanctioned, These folks could replicate their hybrid culture, legitimize it, affirm it Australian food has been re-defined into something brand new, inclusive of what was Formerly recognized as the ethnic-other—the cultural proficiency in understanding otherness.


Conclusion
This comparative study highlights the way collective identities can be. They can be thought of as essential Immutable and harnessed by convention. Alternately identities can be Conceptualized as contextual, shaky, but lively points of positioning always Becoming something new that can be translated into new kinds of culture. The town of Lucca's institutional powers were aggressively holding on to the Concept of a unified and homogeneous national culture. They forgot that no nation-state Is represented by one ethnicity and that national culture is not merged and Pure.
As Renan observed, 'the leading countries in Europe are nations of essentially mixed blood: Italy is the country where ... Gaul's, Etruscans, Pelagianism, and Greeks, Not to mention many other components, intersect in an indecipherable mixture'. Thus, considering Italian foodways as coherent, unified, and pristine does not Acknowledge the many stories, peoples, places, practices, and recipes that have evolved to make Italian Food what it is today.
 

Food is a powerful cultural signifier 2

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2. Ethnic foods in the global village
Like ethnicity itself, Cultural cuisine only becomes self-conscious—the abstract reality when cultural boundaries crossed.
Ethnic foods called into being in their encounter with the foodways of the other. They defined by difference. They only become recognized as after Being 'disembedded '10 from their locality and re-embedded to a new context Where difference makes them visible. Under globalization conditions, the high permeability of national borders has facilitated and accelerated the Dissemination of individuals, cultures, and foods. As people move, they take with Them their ethnic background and the signifiers that qualify it. Ethnicity does not Exist and of itself. Ethnicity does not exist outside culture -- it is constructed by It and featured inside.

For Instance, The Pasta Channel 2007 Harris Poll, asserted that 'the most popular ethnic food in America is Italian meals. Conversely, in Europe, in 2010, the British Nutrition Foundation (BNF) Defined refined foods as those constituted by 'all non-Europeans cuisines. That is, while Italian food was recognized as cultural food in the USA, in the United Kingdom, at least According to the BNF, just non-European foods are cultural. Ironically, in 2001, The foreign secretary Robin Cook at a speech endorsing multicultural Britain Claimed that the Indian based-dish 'Chicken Tikka Masala is now a true British national dish.' Thus, the naming of ethnic foods is purposeful, contextual, Discursive, and made to mark a difference, however, conceived at any given time.

It is Also, a complicated procedure that I seek to research by examining and assessing some of The Probable causes are underpinning the different cultural representations of cultural foods in Australia and Italy. The Australian Case Chicken cacciatore on a Sunday, ravioli on a Monday, noodle Fish cakes on a Tuesday, Mongolian stir fry on a Wednesday. What does this say about the Australian palate?
This is how the Australian food writer Cherry Ripe described the diverse nature Ripe concludes '... we have become some Of the most eclectic eaters in the world.' Ethnic Diversity in Australian foodways Is perceived as a positive aspect of its cuisine and a cultural signifier. Still, ethnic food has also become associated with a specific cohort of people inhabiting the urban and Rich spaces of cosmopolitanism. For them, food has become a signifier Which they can freely appropriate as 'cultural capital 'and that they willingly Incorporate into their processes of cultural identification.
Ethnic food in huge cities has become a signifier of 'culinary, cultural capital.
Expanding on Bourdieu's concept, David Bell used 'culinary, cultural capital' to Describe the purchase of culinary expertise that confers distinction. Taste and Additional Bell asserted that urban Diversity in ethnic restaurants and foods provides these individuals with considerable Consumption choice, which enhances their status and social-cultural differentiation when dining out. Exploring the area of research, Warded et al. argues that.

That this cohort of urban audiences has become proficient practitioners in 'cultural Ominousness.' They developed precise skills for picking, mixing, and matching the Cultural Diversity to suit their particular purposes. As Warded et al. reasoned 'the pursuit of a variety of customer experience is a feature of particular social Group (to) express social differentiation.' Thus, Ripe portrayal of Australian culinary Diversity is a perfect example of 'cultural ominousness.'


Ethnic foods fulfill different purposes for different people. Whereas for the Urban audiences, cultural foods represent culinary, cultural capital, for the ethnic-self, It is a means of life. When marked by the difference of, food becomes cultural traversed boundaries. This aspect reinforces feelings of Solidarity with the ethnic-same, perpetuating the familiarity and comforts of what, for all these reasons, diet accelerates meaning. It strengthens bonds that are social and cultural ties, asserting Shared cultural origins, which are enacted in the community. Food is a tool for cultural survival.
The following analysis of the Italian case study expands further on the subject. It Assesses Italian foodways, once the food of diaspora. It evaluates how this facet Of Italian cuisine might have affected the decisions made by the officials in Lucca, which marginalized the menus of this ethnic-others. The Italian Case Lucca's center-right city council recently stirred much Contention and accusations of racism by prohibiting new ethnic Food restaurants from opening within its stunning historical center.

According to Donation's article, ethnic food was considered as a malaise that Destabilized the notion of Italian cuisine, its culinary roots, and essential customs. Acting as a cultural gatekeeper, Lucca's city council perpetuated the cultural continuity and permanency. Not surprisingly, any occasion Supposed certainties generated anxieties and ambiguity. Yet as the following, The analysis illustrates, Italian culinary traditions and alleged cultural innocence are but a Story aiming at describing nostalgic and imagined representations of integrated and unified foodways. Moreover, despite the city of Lucca's animosity towards Cultural foods, a procedure for culinary integration is simultaneously taking place in Italy.

The 2012 BBC series Two Greedy Italians hosted by the celebrity chefs Antonio Carlucci and Gennaro Contador are a case in point. In this TV series, Carlucci and Contador visited a vegetable farm owned by an Asian female farmer. It showed a range of 'exotic' vegetables -- book-choy and other Asian greens -- cultivated alongside familiar Italian vegetables -- tomatoes and eggplants. On The same app, Carlucci and Contador interviewed a marketplace tour-guide whose function was to take customers on tours to present them to the vast array of products from the market stalls, most of them unknown or unfamiliar to Italian customers and Italian cooking.

Finally, Carlucci and Contador visited a Neighborhood restaurant that specialized in Fusion Food. The female chef cooked for The dish included shitake mushrooms, ginger, Hesitantly, Contador, and Carlucci ate it. Despite Acknowledging that they had enjoyed its tastes, sarcastically, they commented: 'it's ok, but don't call it risotto; call it falsetto' (fusion risotto). 24 On the one hand, they exemplify in the hostility Some sectors of the Italian people towards some of the effects of globalization and Europeanisation, in particular, the presence of ethnic others and their foods in Italian towns. On the other hand, these examples also demonstrate the

Integration and introduction of new products and practices into contemporary Italian foodways are (and have always been) taking place. These cases also highlight the irony within narratives of culinary Italian-ness. Constructed as pristine, unified, and rooted in time and practice, these narratives do not consider that many of the products currently recognized as Italian (tomato and eggplant) aren't native ingredients and were introduced to The Italian foodways by other people.
Moreover, these narratives rarely acknowledge that Italian food in the Western world owes its popularity to the omnipresence of Italian diaspora in Europe, the USA, and Australia. These examples further underscore the inevitability of cultural syncretism. Unlike the essentialist/conservative discourse, Diversity is inescapable and enriching. What would cuisine be, eggplants, or without tomatoes? The thought of pure cultural forms is but an illusion.

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Food is a powerful cultural signifier 1

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Food is a powerful cultural signifier. It can connote inclusiveness, belonging, Attachment, and also be a symbolic expression of societal binding. Grain can Signify exclusiveness, generate feelings and stereotypes of revulsion and disgust, Which demarcate boundaries between the USA and the other. Candy Madeleine illustrates Food can produce good memories as much as Food is nutritional and physiological Requirements as it is cultural, symbolic, and meaningful. Multi-ethnic societies praise Their food diversity and flag it as a marker of inclusiveness. Australian cuisine is supposed to be a representation of cultural and ethnic diversity underpinned by its Culinary variety in foods and tastes. As the food writer Cherry Ripe (1993) asserts, '... we have become some of the most eclectic eaters in the world.'

Ethnic Food

Banning the 'ethnicity variable' in Australian cuisine would be unthinkable. Yet this is not Universally the case. For example, a 2009 article in the New York Times read, 'A The walled city in Tuscany clings to its early menu.' Italian right-wing city council of Lucca and its controversial decision to ban 'ethnic' restaurants from its historic center. Ethnic Food was considered a malaise that destabilized the concept of Italian cuisine, its culinary roots, and Essential customs. The and Exotic food 'other from inside' constituted a threat to Italian-ness. Based on these case studies, this chapter explores the concept of Ethnic Food as a site of struggle where the federal government is challenged, destabilized, and reinvented. It examines how representations of cultural Food are contextual and Evaluates the significance of a national cuisine by asking: does what's on your plate change who you think you are?

Introduction

Food is a site of struggle where the Federal destabilized and contested, re-invented, re-made, and re-mixed. I examine how representations of Ethnic Food are contextual, discursive, and situated in the competing fields. Where By way of contrast, I explore different cultural Enactments of ethnic foodways within two national milieus. In Australia, culinary multiculturalism celebrated with gusto as a significant feature of national Civilization; by contrast, in Italy, ethnic restaurants are jettisoned from inside the walls.
The town of Lucca -- Tuscany, as its right-wing city council promotes Italian-ness and discourages and segregates any culinary representation which perceived as destabilizing and threatening.

Food is a powerful cultural marker. In the home, the taken-for-granted represented by Food. Safety-net that provides 'ontological security.' Food constitutes,
Abroad One of the imaginary bridges which can keep the individual grounded and connected With the memories of familiar faces, customs, practices, tastes, and smells that were These features highlight the significant role of foodways in displaced communities of diaspora. Immigrants in Brazil eat bacalhau to stay emotionally attached to the Motherland, its customs, traditions, and the relevant others in the 'imagined.

Objectives
1-    Shed light on Ethnic Food and risk perception
2-    Shed light on Ethnic foods in the global village
3-    Shed light on Narratives of ethnic foods and national cuisines

1. Ethnic Food and risk perception
At the "risk society," the Rejection or Acceptance of a new food item Depends on the perception of risk associated with it (Beck, 2000). Some studies have found that cultural Food generally perceived positively most likely because it has already been analyzed by additional People in a different part of the world and does not represent a real Novelty. Unlike other entirely new foods like biotechnological Meals (Backstrom, Partial-Backman, & Tutorial, 2003). One of the main problems perceived by consumers about Ethnic dishes linked to the lack of knowledge about the ingredients used, their origin, and the methods of preparation. Studies in America Have noted that those ethnic cuisines Using components that are Understood and also used at the local cuisine receive a higher level of Confidence among customers (Lee, Node, Simona, & Bruhn, 2012).

Descriptions of the ingredients and preparations of ethnic Dishes also seem to be a strategic foresight by restaurateurs and caterers in directing the consumer to the knowledge and pleasure of different foods (Sloan, 2001). In light of this consideration, the analysis of the risk perceptions, Tastes, and new habits of the Italian people are essential Significance in understanding the impact of these different foods on consumer health.

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Parents Children Decision-making

Parental supervision is very valuable in influencing the imminent of the child. Parents have been said to be the "architect" and "conductor" of the development of a child. It can boost the competence and strength of the child. They have always been vicariously liable for the promotion of education as well as extracurricular activities that contribute to mental, emotional, and psychological development. If parents do not pay enough attention to what their children need, they will eventually have to deal with negative consequences (Angeles, 2017). Parents should be providing the child with care and make the child feel valuable and highly regarded. Children need guidance and support to get a decent future for an excellent transition to adulthood.

Decision-making is one of the essential skills of children need to build up in exchange for becoming sustainable and mature adults. It is crucial because the decisions of children directly influence the journey they take in their way of life (Taylor, 2009). As Akrani (2011) states, decision-making is to choose a decision from two or more alternatives. On the other hand, self-regulation involves controlling one's behavior, emotions, and thoughts to pursue long-term goals (Cuncic, 2019). Positive emotional wellbeing is required (Stosny, 2011).  It is also defined as the process by which people incorporate behavioral change into their everyday lives and involves: self-monitoring, goal-setting, reflective thinking, decision-making, planning, implementation of a plan, self-assessment and management of emotions resulting from behavioral change (Participatory health through social behavior, 2016).

As per the Health Office of the Adolescent (2019), the relationship between children and their parents or caregivers is one of the most important relationships in a child's life, often lasting well into adulthood. This relationship dramatically changes adolescence as young people seek greater independence from their families and begin to make their own decisions. For increased autonomy, the increased risk is probable, both positive and negative, and teenagers need parents or caregivers to help them overcome the difficulties of adolescence. Therefore, according to  McCue (2018), children and adolescents become poor decision-makers if they feel under pressure, under stress, or are seeking peer recognition. Teenagers who belong to a broken family are vulnerable to more unpleasant situations and conditions than those who live with consistently married parents. It creates behavioral problems from a cognitive, social, and emotional point of view. Normally, things like a child's decision-making acts, and vocabulary will relate to how they look at their situation. (Magpantay, et.al,  2014).Therefore, according to Jomes (n.d), when teenagers lack parental guidance in their lives, it creates problems for them in many ways. 

On the other hand, the absenteeism of parents can also have a positive impact on adolescent decision-making. Teenagers are more likely to experiment and make decisions in ways that require limited adult supervision. The increased time spent by teenagers without adult supervision creates new opportunities and threats (Kobak, Abbott, Zisk, &Bounoua, 2017).  For such a reason, there is a clear indication that parents can and do influence children, both positive and negative. Thus the separation or absence of parents from the child may have a significant impact on children in decision-making. Adolescents that make decisions that are out of emotion or due to what they feel at the moment may lead to risky behavior or negative consequences that may result in adulthood.
For the decision-maker, this sense of command is precipitated by alterations in one's perception of successful and unsuccessful ways of decision-making. Also, the change in one's understanding of practical and inefficient decision-making forms hastened this sense of control (self-regulation) for the decision-maker. These improvements enable approaches to resolve the factors that lead to mistakes in decision-making (Miller & Byrnes, 2001). As adolescents who lack the skills to deal with their emotional experiences may be more likely to engage in risky behaviors (Hessler& Katz, 2010), a low degree of self-regulation may lead to a wrong decision that results in risky behavior. These self-regulatory decision-making skills may well provide a bridge between ambitions and actions.
Similarly, the effect of ego depletion on risk behavior can also be seen as an exceptional circumstance of choice between alternative actions. Risk behavior is, by definition, the choice of an option that will result in unfavorable results of a particular probability individual experiencing ego loss is expected to experience a lack of self-control to cope with these potential negative consequences and are therefore likely to avoid risky alternatives (Unger & Stahlberg, 2008). In line with this, there is a study in China, where 1 in 5 children live in villages without their parents who move to work. Research has shown that these "left-behind" children have significantly higher rates of anxiety and depression later in life. Other research has shown that separation leads to increased aggression, isolation, and mental problems (Wan, 2018).

Adolescents are chosen as the respondent of this study because they are the ones who have the constantly changing characteristics of discovering their independence and sense of self (Cherry, 2019). As nothing more than a developing individual, we tend to be curious about things around us, and this rapidly growing adulthood is best suited to this study. Another explanation is that children with insufficient parental guidance are more likely to be involved in risky behaviors, such as violent crime, suicide, out-of-home abortion, and HIV infection (Miller & Byrnes, 2001). This can lead to long-term consequences for what they have done. Lack of parental guidance can affect the child's self-regulation, which can lead to poor decision-making. It may also happen when parents are not around, or both parents are present. Still, both of them have limited time for their child to be guided so this study distinguishes those teenage children who live with both parents and those who live apart from their parents and determine the level of their decision-making and self-regulation, and to which group of individuals there is a low level of decision-making and self-regulation. In the survey of UNICEF Philippines, the number of poor decision among teenagers is increasing in our community, leading to risky behaviors such as early pregnancy, HIV infection, cigarettes, and alcohol consumption, which may be one of the reasons for weak parental guidance that this study wants to determine.

REVIEW OF RELATED LITERATURE

This chapter presents an overview of the explanation of articles and studies that has been reviewed by the researchers. Those that were included in this chapter helped in familiarizing information that was relevant and similar to the present study.

Self-regulation
Self-regulation can be described in various ways. In the most basic sense, it means regulating one's actions, feelings, and thoughts in the fulfillment of long-term goals (Cuncic, 2019). To render it much clearer, behaviorally, self-regulation is the ability to perform in your long-term best interest, consistent with your values. Emotionally, self-regulation is the ability to calm down when you're angry and cheer up when you're down (Stosny, 2011). However, as Cuncic (2019) said, our ability to self-regulate as an adult has origins in our childhood development. Understanding how to self-regulate is an essential skill that children learn for both emotional maturity and subsequent social interaction. This is how we cope with stressors, and as such, it lays the foundation for all other endeavors. As Andrea Bell (2016) once said, "Someone who has good emotional self-regulation will hold their emotions under control. They can avoid maladaptive behaviors that could make their situation worse, and they can cheer up when they feel sad. They have a versatile range of emotional and psychological responses that are well-tailored to the demands of their environment. Therefore, people may use a self-regulatory strategy to establish implementation intentions to make better consumer decisions and to promote the transcription of those decisions into practice (Gollwitzer&Sheeran 2009).

As cited in the study (Abun&Magallanes 2018), according to Cook & Cook (2009) stated that, by having self-regulation skills of self-regulation, one could regulate and control one's behavior, emotions, or thoughts, altering them in compliance with the regulations of the situation. This might improve a person's ability to suppress reactions, to avoid intervention from irrelevant stimuli, and to continue to perform related tasks even when one does not enjoy them. As just the theory of self-regulation (SRT) suggests, we are investing energy in regulating what we think, say and do to be the person we want to be, both in specific circumstances and in the longer term. There's a lot of self-regulation to keep us from doing things we know we're not supposed to do, for example, hindering us from telling other people that they're daft. Self-regulation is also applied to the creation of positive actions, such as the examination study. It is usually necessary when there is a motivational conflict, such as running away from a fire rather than helping to rescue fire victims. There are four components of self-regulation mentioned by Baumeister et al. (2007) which are: standards of desirable behavior, motivation to meet standards, supervising of situations and thoughts that immediately follow the breaking of rules, and the willpower of internal strength to control urges. (Changing Works, n.d)

In line with the above concept, some people believe that self-regulation must be taught in childhood, but it is not too late to make a difference in adolescents and young adults. Also, research has shown that significant changes in brain structure occur during adolescence, making interventions at this age-relevant and timely. In particular, brain systems that seek rewards and process emotions are more developed during early and mid-teen years (i.e., 11-15 years) than cognitive control systems responsible for ethical decision-making and future planning. This means that self-regulation is "out of control" at this age of growth. Considering that poor decision during adolescence can have long-term negative consequences, self-regulation during this period of development is crucial (Murray &Rosanbalm, 2017). Nonetheless, a student who can self-regulate needs better focus and problem-solving skills for cognitive functioning. (Parenting for the brain, 2019). As shown by Kalish (2018), this is one of the significant developmental tasks of childhood. Sometimes children naturally develop it by being around self-regulating adults by playing and exercising, by being in nature, by eating healthy food and getting plenty of sleep.  Other times, however, children are over-stimulated, around adults who are stressed and dysregulated, not gaining enough exercise, free time, rest, hydration, and healthy eating.
According to Jackie (2012), as stated in the study of (Mercy &Adunola, n.d.), low self-esteem is one of the causes of adolescent pregnancy. With their peer group, children who do not show love and affection to their parents will seek it out.
Furthermore, according to DiClemente, Hansen, and Ponton (1995), parents and educators have become extremely concerned about adolescent decision-making due to the increase in this age group due to issues such as violent crime, suicide, out-of-wedlock teenage pregnancies and HIV infection as described in the study (Miller & Byrnes, 2001). Yes, teens who experience their parents ' love and support are less likely to engage in risky behaviors. Furthermore, those whose parents demonstrate clear expectations about the actions of their children and display consistent boundaries and supervision are less likely to engage in risky behaviors (Levy, 2019). Likewise, those lacking the ability to cope with their emotional experiences may be more likely to engage in risky behaviors to deal with adverse effects or block their feelings (Hessler & Katz, 2010).

Decision Making
Usually, individuals claim they find it challenging to make decisions. Unfortunately, we all have to make decisions for our whole life, ranging from insignificant issues such as what to eat, right up to life-changing decisions such as where and what to study, what job would fit, and whom to marry. Many people defer decision making by continually searching for more details or having the opinions of other people to make a choice.

Akrani (2011) has chosen to choose a course of action from two or more alternatives. Achieving a specific goal or solving a particular problem is completed. Identically, typically, decision-making encompasses selecting the option most likely to meet our objectives. Therefore, teaching children of all ages is an essential skill as parents want children to grow up to be healthy, responsible, happy adults. Some literature has shown that those who can assess a situation and make a decision in life are often more successful
(Welker, 2010).

We have to make decisions regularly for all ages, whether at work or in our personal lives. Some choices are going to be easier than others. Although success can require experience in some decision-making tasks, which increases with age. Moreover, according to
Dietrich (2010), several significant factors affect the decision-making process. Essential elements include past experiences, several cognitive biases, increased engagement and lowered results, individual differences, including age and socioeconomic status, and a belief in personal importance. All these things affect the decision-making process and the decisions that have been made. When individuals grow older, the multiple factors that influence them will alter the decision-making process. Age is only one difference that affects the decision-making process.

For example, it may be possible to differentiate the degree of independent decision-making from the underlying motives. Independent decisions, as such, often reflected unique relationships with more problematic behavior (Metzger, Babskie, Olson, & Romm, 2016). Achieving a specific goal or solving a particular problem is done. Identically, generally, decision-making requires choosing the option most likely to meet our objectives. We do this by looking through the options available and weighing all the pros and cons that need a certain level of cognitive effort (Ketchell, 2016).
Adolescence
Adolescence, the second decade of life, is, as Schvaneveldt and Adams (1983) said, a developing and maturing passage leading to maturity. Until full maturity, it is considered to be the transitional stage of life. Adolescents also differ in their behavior from adults, solve problems, and make decisions. For this difference, there is a biological explanation. Studies have shown that brains are maturing and developing well into early adulthood throughout childhood and adolescence (American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, 2016).

In this research, Erik Erikson's concept of psychosocial growth was grounded in the age range as the foundation criterion. According to Cherry (2019), this period occurs between the ages of about 12 and 18 during adolescence. Adolescents are discovering their autonomy during this period and developing a sense of identity. As teens move from childhood to adulthood, they may start to feel confused or unsafe about themselves and how they fit into society. At the same time, they seek to create a sense of self, teenagers that experience different positions, activities, and behaviors.

In literature, Welker (2010) suggested that decision-making skills should start early with making small choices between two alternatives for young children. Nevertheless, as children turn into adults and gain autonomy, they will need to learn to make more choices. To accomplish this goal, understanding and using decision-making and problem-solving method can help teens develop. McCue (2018) believes that children can give clear reasons why certain behaviors are undesirable as language evolves. However, children and adolescents are poor decision-makers if they feel pressured, stressed, or seek peer attention. Environmental influences can affect how they make a decision. Children are most susceptible to peer pressure during adolescence and are drawn to experiment with resistance to parental control in all sorts of risky behaviors (Business Mirror, 2017). Also referred to as psychosocial maturity is the relationship between brain development and the risk of making poor choices, especially during hot situations. Research has shown that young people between the ages of 12 and 17 are significantly less psychosocially mature than those between the ages of 18 and 23 who are also less psychosocially mature than adults, 24 and older (Mccue, 2018).

For the decision-maker, shifts in one's perception of efficient and unsuccessful ways of decision-making precipitate this sense of control. In contrast, changes in one's understanding of successful and ineffective ways of decision-making hurried the decision-maker's sense of control (self-regulation). These improvements encourage methods for managing factors that lead to decision-making mistakes (Miller & Byrnes, 2001). As adolescents who lack the skills to deal with their emotional experiences may be more likely to engage in risky behaviors (Hessler & Katz, 2010), low self-regulation can make a wrong decision, leading to risky behavior. These decision-making skills in self-regulation may well provide a bridge between expectations and behavior.
Similarly, ego depletion's influence on risk behavior can be seen as a particular case of choice between alternative actions. Risky behavior is, by definition, the choice of an option that, with a certain likelihood, will result in an adverse outcome. It is assumed that people with ego loss experience a lack of self-control to cope with these potential negative consequences and will be likely to resist harmful alternatives (Unger & Stahlberg, 2008)

According to the World Health Organization (2019), adolescence is a crucial period for developing and maintaining active mental wellbeing in social and emotional behaviors. The more teenagers are exposed to risk factors, the higher the potential impact on their mental health. Throughout adolescence, factors that can lead to stress include a desire for greater autonomy, the pressure to conform with peers, sexual identity exploration, and increased access to and use of technology. The quality of their home life and their relationships with peers are other important determinants. Due to their living conditions, stigma, discrimination or exclusion, or lack of access to quality support and services, some adolescents are at higher risk of mental health conditions. Most health risk-taking habits, such as drug use or taking a sexual threat, start during adolescence. Risk-taking practices can both be an unhelpful strategy for dealing with poor mental health and can have a severe impact on the psychological and physical wellbeing of an individual. Dysfunctional feelings can lead to risky behaviors that can have long-term effects.

Left-behind Children
As described in the CRC, the "family environment in an atmosphere of joy, love, and understanding" is of primary importance for the full harmonious development of the personality of the child that each parent knows this and the dreams of living together in such circumstances. Nevertheless, working on a foreign country and the resulting remittances in a country where unemployment is a massive and continuing fact-of-life provides a way out of poverty. The classic example of the above occurs when one or both parents are working abroad (Iso, 2017).

Overseas Filipino Worker (OFW) is a term which is used to refer to Filipino migrant workers, citizens living in another country for a limited period of employment (Wikipedia, 2019). As of April 2019, it was estimated that the number of Overseas Filipino Workers (OFWs) who worked abroad between April and September 2018 was 2.3 million. Overseas Contract Workers (OFWs) with existing work contracts accounted for 96.2% of the total OFWs between April and September 2018. The rest (3.8%) worked without a deal outside the country (Perez, 2019). According to the Philippine Statistical Authority, CALABARZON reported the largest share of OFWs with 17.9%, followed by Central Luzon with 14.3% and the National Capital Region and Ilocos Region, 9.7% share each. From these four regions, 50% of the total OFWs came for (Perez, 2019). Cavite Province as the area chosen for the research.
The 2016 report by the World Bank noted that remittances to the Philippines are encouraging domestic consumption, a key source of economic growth, and holding the current account in surplus. With an estimated $28 billion, the Philippines ranked third among the largest receiving nation in 2015. India's largest was $69 billion in 2015, followed by China ($64 billion). The United Nations survey estimated that overseas remittances ranged from P5,000 to P20,000 per month, quarterly, or as obliged. Payments were usually devoted to basic needs and education expenses; any additional money was set aside as savings (Business Mirror, 2017). Many OFW kids have become materialistic and, due to lack of direction, waste their parent's money on gadgets and Internet gaming (Iso, 2017). Parent labor migration also skews children's values as they view it only as "equivalent money." Without proper parent guidance, regular remittances lead to children's materialistic attitudes (Rufo, 2008). While they provide for their children, the psychological effect of the parent's absence on the child and its impact on the way the child handles financial resources is the primary concern (Business Mirror, 2017). Even in our financial support, we still have to determine how the money we have will be used properly.

OFW's children are prone to emotional, psychological, and behavioral issues, according to Iso (2017). It was also observed that many children from the OFW are becoming self-doubtful and drug dependent. The absence of the parent also makes them vulnerable to abuse and violence (Rufo, 2008). Also, the most affected in such dynamics are children who can deal either positively or negatively with the absence of one parent or both parents.  Unicef data showed that 3 to 6 million Filipino children are left behind as parents seek work abroad. Based on their "cognitive development," children have a varying level of maturity or awareness of the situation. We see migration only as a form of parental abandonment for young children, while adolescents may be either receptive or resentful (Reyes, n.d.).

On the other hand, as a result of a study conducted by Goldberg and Carlson (2014) indicates a substantial correlation between the dyadic relationship performance of co-resident parents and the rate of behavioral problems of children. We found that parents with more cooperative relationships have fewer behavioral issues with boys. Environmental influences can affect how they make a decision. Furthermore, parental absence tends to increase children's risk of drinking and smoking before they become adolescents. They discovered in a study that children who had endured a parent's absence during their first seven years, whether as a result of death, separation or otherwise, were more than considerably more likely to have tried smoking, and almost 1.5 times as likely to have drunk alcohol by the age of 11. (Davis, 2016)

Since around 2016, UNICEF Philippines investigated that the Philippines is one of the world's fastest-growing HIV epidemics: diagnosed cases increased from 1 a day in 2008 to 26 a day in 2016 (29% among children and young people aged 15-24), and HIV infections increased by 230% among at-risk youth groups between 2011 and 2015. Also, teen fertility rates are rising: from 49 (in 1997) to 59.2 births per 1,000 females aged 15-19 in 2015 (Doyle, 2016). Additional concerns are the use of tobacco and cannabis. In 2016, it was estimated that 5.6 percent of 15–16-year-olds had used marijuana at least once in the previous year, based on data collected from 130 countries (2). Before the age of 18, most adult smokers have their first cigarette (World Health Organization, 2019). This shows that, as the years go by, the number of poor decision-making among teenagers is increasing in our community, leading to risky behaviors such as early pregnancy, HIV infection, cigarettes, and alcohol consumption, which may be one of the reasons for weak parental guidance.

Nonetheless, a study conducted by Espero (n.d), found that in making post-secondary career decisions, the majority of OFW's children who participated in their research showed autonomy. They chose a career path (i.e., pursuing college) that leads to white-collar jobs rather than blue-collar. The influence on their career decisions could have been accounted for by factors other than academic achievements such as migration plans, socioeconomic status, parental attachment, and parental expectations. This lifestyle could be a factor affecting the decision-making of the children of these OFWs to think independently.
A study by Bocuy (2013), showed that children from the OFWs believed they could live without their parents. They have been capable of dealing emotionally and physically. They have recognized that their condition is an inevitable reality, but there is a need to make their being worse and happy. There's a missing component that's been ripped or broken to satisfy the kids.
Researchers found that having Filipino Overseas Worker Parents had a significant effect on the children left behind in the research by Alegria et al. (2018). Positive and negative impacts; and mechanisms to cope with them. Many contributors said that both economic needs and wellbeing are the beneficial advantages of having OFW relatives. On the other hand, most respondents said their parents ' lack of presence is the negative effect of having OFW parents, while the least discussed are both emotional issues and vices. Researchers have found that the most responsive to coping mechanism is to communicate with their parents working abroad, while the least replied is to have vices and engage in relationships.

Guidance for parents is critical (Nauert, 2019). And as per the Office of Adolescent Health (2019), parents play a significant and vital role; they help shape the academic plans of teenagers, their moral and social beliefs, and their more comprehensive view of the world. Parents must combine protective concerns about the safety of adolescents with encouragement to improve the adolescent's capacity to make independent decisions. The amount of time teenagers spend without active parental supervision (Kobak, Abbott, Zisk, & Bounoua, 2017) complicates ensuring the safety of the child. Also, the willingness of parents to retain the knowledge of their thoughts and feelings and their adolescents can be a common element that promotes cooperative interaction and encourages the growing capacity of adolescents to self-regulate and make autonomous decisions. Moreover, there is a discovery that the new factor in child development theory is that the way a child turns out can be primarily dictated by the parents ' day-to-day decisions that guide the child's growth (Nauert, 2019).

Parents and relatives continue to shape how adolescents feel towards themselves, but during this period, external influences also become particularly important (Cherry, Erikson's Understanding of Psychosocial Development Theory, 2019).
Research Instruments

The following instruments were used for the researchers to gather all the necessary data needed for the study. They were making decisions in everyday life scale to determine the level of their decision-making skills and the Adolescent Self-Regulatory Inventory to ascertain their self-regulation capacity of adolescents' children of OFW and adolescents children living with both parents.
 It is making Decisions in Everyday Life. Claudia Mincemoyer developed the scale, Ph.D., and Daniel Francis Perkins, Ph.D. (CYFAR, n.d). Making decisions in Everyday Life is a 20-item scale that measures an adolescent's (12 to 18 years old) decision-making skills. The instrument assesses adolescents' decision-making skill by analyzing the frequency of practice of the 38 following skills that are required to employ thorough decision-making: defining the problem (items 1 to 4), identifying alternatives (items 5 to 8), identifying risks and consequences (items 9 to 12), selecting an option (issues 13 to 16) and evaluation (articles 17 to 20).
Validity - The extent to which a measure captures what it is intended to measure. The Content or Face Validity, Criterion Validity, and Construct Validity have no information provided. However, the developer noted that "If the information on a particular psychometric was not found, it is indicated as "no information provided."This is not necessarily reflective of a lack of reliability or Validity within a given scale/instrument, but rather a lack of stringent testing by developers or other researchers for various reasons "(Mincemoyer & Perkins, 2001). Together with other life skills scales, "Making a Decision in Everyday Life" has shown moderate to strong positive associations that demonstrate parallel relevance (Duerden, Witt, Fernadez, Bryant, & Theriault, 2012).

Reliability- Enormous use of the scale with 4-H populations, has resulted in an average level of safety .74 (Mincemoyer & Perkins, 2009). The correlation of the ' Making Decisions in Everyday Life ' scale is suggested for at least one type of reliability as evidence. However, standards range from.5 to.9 depending on the intended use and context of the instrument. For the five variables in the scale range from.63 to.89, the internal consistency is Alpha's, and the inter-rater quality has no data as well as the test-retest.
Scoring and Interpretation. For the scoring of Making decisions in everyday life scale, each item is rated on a 5-point Likert-scale, namely:1= never, 2= rarely, 3=sometime, 4=often, and 5= always. Scores are range from 20 to 100. Results can be achieved by summing up all item ratings, and higher scores indicate more exceptional decision-making ability. Each item has a statement that describes how you might decide everyday life. It must be described in the last 30 days. Each level of decision making has its clarification.

Furthermore, the instrument does not have a standard measurement for determining the level of decision making. That is why the researchers categorized the data scores using mean and sample standard deviation. The researchers have come up with four categories: High average, above average, average, and low average, to categorize the raw scores of the respondents.

Below the average level are those individuals who have minimal foresight. They don't consider the outcomes of their activities before they accomplish something. Thus, they make snap judgments when it comes to making a decision. Also, according to Potton (2012), as cited in the (Baro&Paraon, 2017) report, individuals with a lower than average rate of decision-making appear to make poorly informed decisions. Gradually, they make snap judgments when it comes to making decisions. So the only thing that matters to them is short-term gratification.

Below average individuals who belong in this level have decision-making skills that are not fully matured yet. They are not objective enough, and they rely too much on luck, instinct, or timing to make reliable decisions. Those with a low level of decision-making skills, according to (MindTools, 2013), tend to focus excessively on chance, momentum, and timing to make rational decisions. Therefore, individuals with low average decision-making skills are not fair when it comes to making decisions.
Individuals that fall below the average level have a good understanding of the basis of the five steps in the decision-making process, namely: Define the problem, identify the alternatives, identify the risk and consequences, select an option, and the evaluation of the whole process.

Above-average are those who know how to set up the process and generate many potential solutions. From there, they analyze the option carefully and make the best decisions possible based on what they know. Individuals with an above-average level of decision-making skills know how to access the cycle and create a lot of potential solutions, according to MindTools (2013). We use that information to gain more and more experience to assess their decisions and build on their decision-making abilities.
Lastly, the High average level is those individuals who can retrieve courses of action based on the situation or action matching rules, self-diagnose their performance, identify weaknesses in their knowledge and processes, and correct them. According to Rosen, Salas, Lyons, and Fiore (2008), as discussed in the analysis of (Baro & Paraon, 2017), individuals with a high degree of decision-making skills obtain solutions to the problem based on circumstances or rules of action, diagnose their results, recognize and correct deficiencies in knowledge and processes. These often produce more comprehensive, more conceptual, more logical, and more abstract representations of circumstances. We also foresee what details the decision-making process would need. They then assess their data's accuracy, reliability, and completeness. They evaluate their condition comprehension.

Adolescent Self-Regulatory Inventory (ASRI).The scale was developed by Kristin L. Moilanen (Moilanen, 2006). The ASRI is a theoretically-based questionnaire that taps two temporal aspects of self-regulation of adolescents 11-16 years old. This is a 36 item measure that evaluates the degree to which adolescents can activate, monitor, maintain, inhibit, and adapt their emotions, thoughts, attention, and behavior. Respondents rate how exact each item is for them on a Likert-type response scale, ranging from 1 (not at all right for me) to 5 (really true for me).

Validity - The extent to which a measure captures what it is intended to measure. The Construct Validity and Predictive Validity have no information provided. However, the developer noted that "If the information on a particular psychometric was not found, it is indicated as "no information provided." It should be noted that this is not necessarily an indication of a lack of reliability or Validity within a particular scale/instrument, but rather a lack of rigorous testing, for various reasons, by the developers or other researchers." (Mincemoyer& Perkins, 2001). "The Adolescents Self-Regulatory Inventory" indicated r = [.68, 92] with the comparison self-regulation questionnaire, similarly to concurrent validity r = -.30 with psychological control; r = [-.46, -.34].
Reliability- Cronbach's Alpha provided internal consistency values of.72 in long term self-regulation and .84 in short term self-regulation.

Furthermore, to establish local reliability of this scale for the adolescents aged 12-18, the researchers conducted a pilot test with 70 adolescents in the province of Cavite. The results produced an internal consistency of .703 Cronbach's Alpha and were accepted by the researchers because it exceeded the minimum threshold of .70 Cronbach's Alpha. However, there is an item that outliers and needed to delete or remove to be this scale acceptable. This item was the question or issue 8.
Scoring and Interpretation. For the scoring of Adolescents Self-Regulatory Inventory, each item is rated on a 5-point Likert-scale, namely:1= not at all true for me, 2= not very true for me, 3= neither true nor untrue for me, 4- somewhat true for me, and 5= true for me. Reverse score items namely; 1, 2, 5, 6, 7, 8, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 18, 19, 21, 34, 35, (5= Not at all true for me, 4=Not very true for me, 3= Neither true nor untrue for me, 2= Somewhat true for me and 1= Really true for me). Add all the scores together. Higher scores indicate an ability to self-regulate.

Life After College 3

3

READ PART 2
Five must-have pieces in your closet.
Many people ask us what clothing they need to have in their closet. What classical pieces can be used for a few different seasons and be paired up with trendier, seasonal pieces? We have put together this list to help you shop for more classical pieces of clothing:

A Great Looking Suit. Every woman should have one great looking suit. You can wear the uniform to job interviews, client presentations, and important meetings to impress your boss and clients.

A dark suit that looks good on you is a great classic thing and a significant investment.

A Nice Pair of Pants. Everyone has a great, favorite pair of pants. These are versatile pants that you can wear to the office, and you can dress them up a bit and wear them out as well. They are usually dark and made from a material so that they can last for a while. A great pair of pants can be worn in the winter with a cute sweater and in the summer with a summer blouse or a dressy top. For men, start with two pairs of dark-colored denim. You can dress jeans up or down, making them incredibly versatile in most parts of the world. It's essential to choose the best jeans for your body type and make sure they fit. Next up, you want two pairs of slacks. Here are some options to pick from:
Gray flannel is an excellent option for colder climates. This will match pretty much any shirt, jacket, and pair of shoes in your wardrobe.
Khakis are more casual but can work if they fit you well. Chinos are smarter, lighter-weight, and often made in lighter colors like tan, red, and blue.
Commuter pants are slacks in a hi-tech stretch fabric that you can wear on your cycle commute as well as at work. The key is to make sure they're not made in too casual a style.
Finally, you can have one pair of shorts. Just the one. Shorts are incredibly casual and don't look good on most body types. If it's hot where you live, instead of multiple pairs of shorts, look at tropical weight wool trousers. They're just as relaxed and comfortable – and infinitely more stylish.

A Little Black Dress. Every woman should have a little black dress. This is a dress that you look and feel gorgeous in. This is a dress you can use any time there is a last-minute party or a reception that you didn't have the time to buy an outfit for. Your little black dress will save you every time.
A Dress Shirt for Men
Every man should have at least seven collared shirts. These men's wardrobe essentials come in two flavors: dress shirts and collared button-downs.
Dress shirts are more formal and made to wear under a jacket. But how do you identify a dress shirt?
A dress shirt typically has no more than one pocket. It won't have badges or any other decorative features. It'll generally be in a solid color or a stripe or check.

A Great Blazer. A great blazer is also a very versatile piece. It can be worn with pants to the office. It can dress up your regular jeans. You're sometimes you can wear it with the little black dress, just in case you get cold. Sometimes a grey or a dark blazer is appropriate. Other times, it is a brighter blazer that will go with the rest of your things and will add a little color to the rest of your outfit.

When shopping for a blazer, consider other things you have in your closet, as well as the fact that you will be wearing it for a few years.

A Great Coat. A stylish coat goes a long way - you can wear it to work, wear it to parties, and wear it on top of the little black dress to the opera or theater.

Once you have the classic pieces, you can buy cuter, trendier pieces to match, and to wear with them. For example, bright blouses will look great with your dark, classic suit. Enjoy putting together your classic pieces and matching them with the rest of your things.

The power of networking
Networking has long been recognized as a powerful tool for business people and professionals.  Knowing more people gives you greater access, facilitates the sharing of information, and makes it easier to influence others for the simple reason that controlling people you know is more comfortable than altering strangers. The creators of LinkedIn, Facebook, and Twitter have built their empires on the presumption that their social networking tools help people build their networks and remain better connected than ever.

Social networks allow you to learn about other people you might never have known of otherwise.  On LinkedIn, you can build awareness of your products or services, join groups of people with similar interests, search for job opportunities, or look for people who might be qualified to fill a position in your company.  And Facebook enables you to find long-lost classmates or share with friends what you liked about a new film, what you saw during your trip to Venice, or what you ate for breakfast.
But these benefits of social networking, while valuable to some degree depending on how robustly you use these networks, miss the essence of what makes networking such a powerful tool for leaders and other highly influential people.  The research on power and influence shows that well-networked people are three times more influential than people who aren't.  But their ability is based on the social capital they have developed in building relationships with the people in their network—and you can't make sufficient capital with people by merely "friending" them on Facebook or accepting an invitation to connect on LinkedIn.
Networking can be a powerful tool.  It can enhance your ability to lead and influence other people—but only when the people in your network value being connected with you—and value you for more than just one of the hundreds of people in their network.  The power of networking lies in how well they know you, how much they trust you, how much they gain from having you in their system, how frequently you communicate with them, and how many other influential people there are in your network.
Social networks like LinkedIn are useful, but they are no substitute for direct personal connections and the kind of history you develop with people when they have known you for a long time, when they have learned to trust you, and when they have come to value the relationship.

Want to Be More Influential? Improve Your Social Skills
Dale Carnegie got it right when he said that to win more friends and influence more people. You need to improve your interpersonal skills.  Twenty years of research on power and influence shows that people with superior social skills are substantially more influential than people with average social skills.
Being Known
It is significantly easier to influence people you know than people you don't.  So go out of your way to make yourself known.  If you're in an organization, this means increasing your visibility throughout the organization.  Introduce yourself to people.  As you get to know them, let them know who you are.
Being Liked

Sometimes, you know the person you want to influence but aren't as influential as you'd like with him or her because of bad chemistry. We are more inclined to say yes to people we want than to people we don't, which is why friends are more likely to do favors for each other than they are for people they don't know.  So to be more influential, do what you can to be more likable to the people you want to influence.  Of course, we each have whatever physical gifts (or challenges) we were born with, but you should do the best you can with what you have. Proper grooming, posture, dress, and manners go a long way toward making you more attractive to others.  In business, as well as many other walks of life, these things matter.  The same is right with interpersonal behaviors that people like: friendliness, generosity, warmth, caring, and acceptance.  When we act with these qualities, people are more inclined to like us.  Conversely, if we are pushy, arrogant, boastful, self-centered, rude, disrespectful, or otherwise annoying, people will be inclined to dislike us.  Personality is a critical component of likeability.

Learn when to say yes and when to say no now!
Some people say "yes" to everything, "Can you do this?" "Can you help me?" "Will you go there?"
And then there are some whose default is "no" to everything, "You want to come?" "That's a good opportunity" "You want to do that?"
It can be balanced. You can adjust your yes and no. And in that balance can we all find our happiness, as well as seamless opportunities.
The key is self-awareness.
Is Will doing this make me upset?
Is it essential for my growth?
Can I spare that much time?
Is it worth doing?
Don't have a go-to response. Get self-aware and respond to every request or question accordingly. Some can be a "yes." Others can be "no." But every yes and no should be based on your happiness and growth and not on the ignorance of having a default answer.


BAD HABITS YOU DON'T WANT TO PICK UP
Food Habits
"You are what you eat!"
While that statement may be a bit trite and overused, it does have a ring of truth.
If you eat a lot of "comfort foods," you will likely end up beautiful and comfortable, with extra padding around the middle, lounging around all day sweet and lazy.
On the other hand, while cruciferous vegetables may never make your mouth water, they do a heck of a lot to give you energy and increase your health.

The bad eating habits listed below run the gamut, from only overeating to emotional eating, where it is difficult to sense how much food you consume (and you don't care how bad it is for you).
Now let me be clear: I am by no means saying that you can NEVER partake in any of these bad eating habits. That would make for a reasonably dull diet.

But all of these bad habits are a slippery slope.
It is easy to say, "One piece of chocolate today won't kill me," because it won't. But then you start to have chocolate every day. Then the pieces get bigger and bigger, and soon enough, you have a chocolate problem.
If your healthy eating efforts feel like they are being undermined, you may be making some tricky eating mistakes. Several sneaky habits can sabotage your weight-loss efforts. While there are no "bad" foods, there are smarter ways to eat, especially if you're trying to lose weight.

Find out if any of these are trumping your best efforts and learn how to get back on track.
Keeping Tempting Foods Around
It's hard to resist temptation when it's staring you in the face. You're much more likely to grab cookies, candy, or ice cream if it's always in your house. Do yourself a favor and keep tempting foods out of your sight. If you're going to stay irresistible snacks at home, stash them inside a cupboard (maybe on a top shelf?). Keep your fruit displayed proudly out on the counter and pre-chop veggies, so they're ready for snacking.
Skipping Breakfast

You might think that skipping breakfast-a whole meal!-would help you cut calories, but the research says that eating breakfast can better assist you in losing weight. Breakfast eaters tend to weigh less and are more successful at losing weight and keeping it off than those who skip the meal. What's more, people who typically eat breakfast also get more fiber, calcium, vitamins A and C, riboflavin, zinc, and iron.  Not hungry when you first get up? Don't worry. Eating breakfast doesn't have to be the first thing you do each day. Just make sure that when you do eat, your meal will sustain you for a few hours. It should include some fiber and protein.
Distracted Eating

You're eating alone, so you reach for your phone and text, scroll the 'gram, or play games. Or you read the paper, watch TV or use your computer. All of these distractions take your attention away from eating and make it harder for you to experience and tune in to how satiated/full you are. That can lead you to eat more than you're hungry for, either now or later. Aim to be more mindful when you eat and tune into how hungry and full you are.
Eating Straight Out of the Bag

If you're noshing directly out of the package-whether, you're eating chips, crackers, cookies, or ice cream-it's easy to eat several servings without realizing it. A critical step when you're trying to lose weight is watching what you eat-being aware of what and how much you're eating. That's why keeping a food journal is so effective. Get a handle on runaway portions by measuring out a serving…if you want more, measure that too. Being conscious of what you're eating will help you meet your weight goals.
Eating on the Run
You are eating in the car, snacking at your desk, drinking a high-calorie smoothie or latte while walking around-it's all too easy to take in excessive calories if you're eating on the go. To curb this type of distracted eating, sit down to eat.

Bad Spending Habits
Many consumers unknowingly practice lousy spending habits that leave them deep in debt. Learning how to stop bad spending habits and how to stop overspending takes commitment, awareness, and practice.

Chief among lousy spending habits is carrying too much debt. Although some level of debt is expected, taking too much debt can result in dire outcomes.
If consumers are seeking to establish financial security, an excellent place to start is to get serious about debt reduction. Begin by identifying lousy spending habits, make adjustments to reduce cash outlays, and take steps to reduce debt.

The following list identifies some everyday lousy spending habits as well as suggestions to help develop successful money management habits:

1. Failing to Budget
Failing to keep track of income and monthly expenses is a recipe for financial disaster. Consumers that "spend as they go" without planning for upcoming obligations run the risk of coming up short.

Set up a budget by compiling a list of all monthly expenses. Divide the list into two columns:
Necessary expenses (rent or mortgage, food, utilities, phone, car payment, insurance, etc.); and,
Discretionary Expenses (entertainment, clothing, club memberships, etc.)
Next, subtract the two amounts from income. The difference reveals positive or negative cash flow. Cut expenses if overspending. Reduce discretionary costs to increase available cash.

2. Impulse Buying
Retailers today are savvy when it comes to consumer buying habits. There is a reason goods are placed near the checkout, on the shelf at eye level, or marked down. Retailers want consumers to buy, and they understand buying triggers.

Try these tips to learn how to stop overspending and gain control of the shopping budget:

Shop with a list: If an item is not on the list, don't buy it. Unplanned buying equals overspending.
Delay unplanned purchases: Take 24 hours to decide if the purchase is essential.
Shop without your kids: Kid-centric products are placed on shelves at a child's-eye level to entice them to ask parents to buy their favorites.

3. Accruing Credit Card Debt
Credit cards can be lifesavers when emergencies arise, but using them to buy staples such as food, entertainment, and day-to-day bills can result in balances that can quickly get out of control. Limit credit card use to emergencies. Is the unplanned purchase an emergency? If not, don't put it on a credit card.

Coach yourself with cash: Adopt an envelope system for a few months to track where the money is going. Label one envelope for each expense ("food," "gas," etc.) and put the necessary cash for each payment into specific containers. Train yourself to buy food with only the money allocated to food, gas from the gas envelope, etc.

4. Overdrawing Accounts/Late Fees
Banks make big bucks from overdraft fees. (The three biggest banks earned more than $1 billion  in taxes in a single quarter of 2015!) Financial institutions penalize consumers when they slip into an overdraft or make a late payment. Those fees can quickly drain an account.

Set up alerts from checking and credit card accounts that notify consumers by phone or email when minimum balances are met. Most banks and credit card issuers offer this service for free and even provide apps to make tracking balances easier.

5. Paying for Unused Services
One study determined four-out-of-five gym memberships go unused. In most cases, even if club memberships go unused, consumers are expected to pay the monthly dues. Review bank and credit card statements to determine which services are not being used and cancel these memberships. Apply this money toward paying down debt.

6. Emotional Spending
Shopping addiction is a common reaction to the pressures and stress of life. Giving in to the temptation to ease that stress by buying a new outfit, eating out, or impulsively purchasing a big-ticket item can result in a quick emotional "fix." Still, buyer's remorse and adverse financial consequences can follow.

Thinking Everyone Is Mr/Mrs. Right
Do you always seem to go for the wrong guy?
You think he's Mr. Right, but he turns out to be a waste of space in the end.
Perhaps he lets you down by being unfaithful or just won't commit to any kind of recognizable 'relationship.' Maybe he seems high at first but ends up putting you down and maltreating you.
And what's more, you've found yourself putting up with being mistreated by a guy.
Reading the signs
Indeed, you don't know what someone's like immediately, but there are always signs if you are clear-headed enough to know what to look.
The trouble is when you're infatuated or lusted, you don't see the wood for the trees. There are things wrong in the relationship that you just don't want to see.
You make excuses for all those little signs that it just won't work in the lo long term. Or maybe you've been falling into the trap of the 'I'm the one who can change him!' (This is perhaps the most significant relationship trap of them all).
Infatuation stops straight thinking.
Infatuation stops you from thinking straight. Strong emotion makes you pick the wrong guy and prevents you from seeing what's going on. You end up feeling hurt and stupid.
What about all those nice guys?

Then there are the guys you know would be faithful, beautiful partners, but they just don't do it for you. They're 'too nice' and not exciting. But there has to be a middle way; a stimulating and enjoyable long term partner material.
The reason that the 'nice guy' may not always do it for you is that being too cute may also indicate a lack of courage. Women like brave men because brave mates are, from an evolutionary point of view, better able to survive.
So if you are not attracted to a man who seems too kind, there may be good reasons for this, but you need to find a balance.
Developing dating savvy
To find a man you are attracted to but who is also suitable for you and knows how to support you, you need to think about what is important to you then keep your head when you start dating so that you can see what is in front of you.
The common mistakes when dating Mr. Wrong are:
Making excuses for him
Blaming yourself

To avoid this, you need to give him responsibility for his behavior and make him accountable for his behavior. If he flirts outrageously with your best friend, you need to know his response, not a reflection of you.
Falling for the wrong guy - what's important to you?
So if reliability and trust are essential to you, then does his behavior generally meet your criteria? If the answer is no, then you need to look at what's going on and keep a part of yourself detached. Real love takes time to develop - infatuation and desperation blind you.

If you have low self-esteem because of the way you have been conditioned in life, you may get into the habit of going for and staying with men who mistreat you. If this is the case, you need to think about what you need, not what you think you want. The way to do this is to calm down and see it.
Relationships go wrong because people can't see clearly what's going on.

WAYS TO KEEP A BALANCED LIFE (IF YOU DON'T LISTEN TO ANYTHING, LISTEN TO THIS)
Balanced living means having a positive outlook, focusing on good habits, and lowering stress. Everyone longs to be healthy and happy.  While focusing on a healthy lifestyle by exercising and eating right is great for your body, balanced living means protecting your mental and emotional health, too.

Finding balance in life can bring a sense of fulfillment and meaning. Use strategies to help you gain balance and perspective in how you're living your life, such as prioritizing your time, making compromises, and being optimistic. Engage in activities that are healthy and beneficial to you, and that adds meaning to your life. Start or continue a hobby, find meaningful work, take care of your body, and cope with daily stress. Above all, make time for people and activities that are meaningful to you. Enjoy time with family and friends, and find meaningful ways to connect to those you love.
Maintain a schedule. One way to ensure a balanced life is to schedule your time. If you're spending all of your time at work or most of your free time doing one activity, it's hard to maintain balance in all areas of your life. A schedule can help you to balance your time in various fields that are important to you. Keeping a plan can help you accomplish goals and create balance in how you spend your time.

For example, write a schedule based on your priorities each week. You may work a set of hours each week, but spend your after-work time with family, friends, and meaningful activities. Participate in a weekly bowling league, schedule regular dinners with your spouse, and plan time for your kids.
Think about what activities you have to do, enjoy doing, and want to do. Then, try ranking these activities in order of their importance to you and then assign an appropriate amount of time to each event.
Make compromises. You rarely can "have it all," so agreements are necessary to keep yourself (and those around you) happy. It can be hard to balance your own life, but if you have a partner or spouse, children, extended family, and friends, you must also consider their needs alongside your own. However, whatever you deem to be balanced may come at its costs. For example, if you want to focus more on family and less on work, this can affect your job opportunities and income. Decide your goals and primary focus, and know that you will likely make compromises along the way.

For example, if you're a student, you may make compromises for your studies that reduce spending time with friends and having fun, at least for a time. These compromises may be painful but can help you attain a job later.
Think positively. Your thinking can shape how you perceive each day and situation. Maintain a positive approach to life and the changes that come across your path. Reduce your negative self-talk, such as, "I can't do that" or, "They would never pick me" and focus on positive things about yourself or situations. If you tend to expect the worst, find something that can go well and how to prevent bad things from occurring

For example, you may fear the worst if you fail an exam. Say to yourself, "I'll be disappointed if I do poorly. However, I know that I can take more exams and bring the grade up later."
If you start thinking, "This presentation is going to be awful" or "I can't believe I messed up so much," take a step back and focus on the positives. Say to yourself, "I've worked hard, so there's no reason for things to go badly" or, "Even if I messed up, it doesn't mean I'm a failure. I can try again and do better."

Surround yourself with supportive people as well to help yourself stay positive. Try to spend your free time with positive and supportive people and limit your time with negative or critical people.
Have hobbies. Make regular time for activities that you enjoy. Whether you enjoy hiking, stargazing, playing piano, or woodworking, set aside time to engage in fun activities. Having a hobby is one way to feel fulfilled and create a sense of meaning in your life. Make time during your week to engage in your hobby so that it's something to look forward to in your schedule.
Engaging in a hobby is also a great way to make friends and meet others who have similar interests.
If you don't have a hobby, think of something that interests you that you'd like to try. Maybe you'd like to pick up ice skating or karate or knitting.

Spend time with family and friends. It's essential to make time for people you care about. Even when you are busy or stressed, make time to hang out with your friends and family. Friendships can help you lower stress and increase your overall sense of well-being.
Make time for your friends, even when you're busy. A once-a-month volleyball night or karaoke night can help you connect with others and have a great time.

Stay connected with your family. Whether you have children or are near your extended family, make time for the meaningful relationships in your life. Plan activities around holidays such as meals or game nights.
Relax. Daily relaxation is a healthy outlet for stress. Practicing relaxation for 30 minutes each day can help you stabilize your moods and cope with stress more effectively. Instead of letting daily frustrations build over time, relaxation helps you to deal with problems regularly and encourages you to feel calm and centered.

Find a practice that you enjoy and stick with it. Try daily yoga, qi gong, tai chi, and meditation.
Find adequate employment. Find a job that meets your needs on multiple levels. This may include having fulfilling work you enjoy, contributing to or creating something meaningful, or having a job that meets your needs and needs. Think about what needs your job fulfills for you, and whether you want to work there long-term. If you enjoy your job yet, you don't get paid what you need or are required to work overtime often, consider if this job contributes to a balanced life. Keep your work life in balance by finding enjoyment at your workplace and keeping work and other events separate.

Think of all of the things you want from a job and rank them in order of importance to help guide your search and decision making.
Leave work at work. This may mean leaving your laptop at your desk, not bringing it home, or disconnecting emotionally from difficult situations at your workplace. Don't dwell on office disputes or "bad days" at the office.
If your job feels unbalanced in your life, make some changes. You can discuss adjusting your hours, increasing your pay, or transferring to a different department or another job. If this makes you anxious, then you may want to work on some assertiveness training. You can do this on your own, such as by reading books or rehearsing what you will say with a friend, or you can work on becoming more assertive with the help of a therapist.

Connect with spirituality. Whether you are religious or not, a meaningful spiritual practice can contribute positively to life. This can include prayer, meditation, spending time outside, or engaging in or creating a spiritual practice of your own. Connect with others who share similar beliefs with you as a way to build community and practice together.
If you're not sure how you connect with spirituality, explore different paths, and find one that you connect with well. Check out a church, synagogue, mosque, meditation center, or read spiritually-oriented books. Talk to others who have a spiritual practice and ask them how it contributes to their lives.

Taking Care of Your Physical Health

1.Get good sleep. Sleep can affect your productivity at work, irritability, and mood, and how sharp your mind feels. If you have trouble sleeping, consider sticking to a sleep schedule where you go to bed and wake up at the same time, even on the weekends. Have a bedtime ritual that helps you feel calm and relaxed. This can include minimizing screen time, taking a bath, meditating, or reading. Make your bedroom comfortable and restful, and make sure your mattress and pillows suit your needs.
If you tend to let, your mind run free at night, calm your thoughts. Remind yourself that you can address problems in the morning and allow your account to disengage from worries and stresses. Try jotting down what is bothering you, and then you can rest assured that you won't forget it. Keep a pen and notepad by your bed so that you can do this.

2.Keep your body fit. Exercise and physical activity can help your body feel good and age well. Exercise can help you maintain a healthy weight, reduce your risk for cardiovascular disease and diabetes, strengthen bones and muscles, and improve your mental health and mood. Motivate yourself by doing classes or activities you find fun or working out with a friend. Do something aerobic such as running, biking, dancing, or walking briskly, depending on your ability level. Include strength training in your routine by lifting weights or doing bodyweight exercises like push-ups and sit-ups.
If you're starting a fitness or exercise program, speak with your physician before beginning to make sure you are healthy enough to participate. Start slowly and work your way toward more intensity.

3. Eat nutritious foods. While lots of convenience foods are at your disposal, make an effort to eat healthy and nourishing meals. For example, make half of your plate fruits and vegetables. Incorporate whole grains into your diets such as brown rice, quinoa, bulgur, and oats. Eat lean proteins such as peas, nuts, eggs, and beans. Replace sugary drinks like sodas with water. If drinking water bores you, add some cucumbers, fruit, or lime juice for a little natural flavor.
If the thought of eating more veggies annoys you, find simple ways to add them to your meals. For example, micro chops vegetables and add them to pasta, enchiladas, or dipping sauce.
If you don't enjoy salads, a daily smoothie can help you consume fruit and can help hide greens. Grab a handful of spinach and mix it with your smoothie. While it will likely change the color, it shouldn't affect the taste. Add a scoop of pea protein for a sustained energy boost!
Make sure to work meal planning and grocery shopping into your schedule every week.

4. Avoid addiction. Addictions such as tobacco, caffeine, overeating, gambling, shopping, excessive social media use, drugs, and alcohol can take a significant toll on your overall health and well-being. If you think you have an addiction, seek treatment. Addiction can cause problems with family and friends, at work, in your body, and your personal life. Even if you're not addicted, drinking too much alcohol can cause physical and emotional problems, especially over time.
If you have an addiction, seek treatment. See a counselor or therapist or enroll in an addiction program.


HOW TO POSITIVELY PROMOTE CULTURAL COMPETENCY IN THE WORKPLACE
With globalization and technology on the rise, the workplace is becoming more diverse and connected than ever. In the U.S., groups once considered "minorities" will combine to comprise more than half of the population by 2050. Technological capabilities are now providing greater ease of working remotely, allowing colleagues to work from all over the world.

The growing number of cultures and perspectives present in the workplace can pose challenges to collaboration and teamwork if not constructively addressed. The more employees who can understand and empathize with one another, the more productive you can be.

First, What Is Cultural Competence?
Cultural competence refers to your organization's collective knowledge and understanding of different cultures and perspectives. It's a measure of your workforce's ability to work with people of different nationalities, ethnicities, languages, and religions.

Cultural competence is inherently difficult to quantify and measure. Ensure you're setting employees up for success by first understanding where they're coming from and then equipping them with the knowledge and skills necessary to operate in a global context.

Understanding Cultural Competency
Cultural competence comprises a few different dimensions. Consider the following when assessing and working to improve the state of your workplace:

Sensitivity: This component refers to an individual's ability to understand and appreciate cultural differences—in other words, how "sensitive" a person is to of disagreements.

Awareness: Awareness is linked to one's ability to understand how culture can affect thinking, behavior, and interactions.
Skills: Once an individual can appreciate differences and understand how those cultural variations affect the way we interact with the world. Skills are then reflected in their ability to communicate and interact across cultures effectively.

Saving for retirement
Once you're out of college and working, you should start saving for retirement. It may seem like a long way off, but if you don't start now, you'll never reach the finish line. Hopefully, your employer offers a 401(k). Contribute at least enough to get the full employer match if one is available. You'll eventually want to contribute much more than that. Many retirement contributions are made with pre-tax dollars, which might be beneficial to your overall financial situation as it lowers your taxable income. It's best to invest as much money as possible in the earlier years, taking advantage of the compounding effect of investments. $5 contributed every month, compared to $1 donated every month, doesn't sound like a huge difference. For 40 years, that difference will be tremendous.